Im so ashamed, my skin picking has become so horrible im embarassed to go out of my room to my family. sometimes i get in these moods where i will just sit in an area i can see my skin and pick for hours until im bleeding and scabbed. Im 15 and going to school with these marks and scabs is ruining my life.. i dont know why im sending you this but no one i know understands.
I have localized scleroderma which essentially means I have some dark patches on my skin. The photo doesn’t show it very well, but on my back it’s quite dark. When I was in first grade a dermatologist took a sample of my skin leaving a sensitive circle shaped scar. I also have the patches on my knees and on my hips. The doc said they’d be gone by the time I was 12 but I’m 15 now. They’ve faded a bit but at this point I don’t care. It think they’re cool.
I deal with obsessive picking of my scalp. I spend hours scratching and picking at my scalp and it hurts really bad. Brushing my hair hurts, washing my hair burns, and I hate for people to pat me on the head, a seemingly innocent gesture that causes me pain. There’s nothing wrong with my scalp- I just obsessively scratch and pick at it to make wounds and scabs. Possibly from anxiety? I have more bald and bloody spots besides these.
This pain has started impacting me a lot, but I’m determined to overcome it! I’m starting head-rehab (for what seems like the millionth time) again, and I hope to be a long way towards healing by Christmas. My friends have been extremely supportive, instead of grossed out or appalled, they’ve really helped me on my way toward quitting. Wish me luck!
helsbels7 asked: Hello I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this, I've just started another tumblr blog about my experience living with vulvodynia. Which is a chronic vulval pain condition (which I guess in a way is skin!). If I submit about my experience am I allowed to include a link to my new blog? Thanks.
Absolutely!! Let’s share all our skin related stories and resources! I actually would love to read more on volvodynia as a lot of loved ones in my life with vulvas have suffered from this.
Thank you for sending a message!
I can’t thank you enough for this blog. I’ve had dermatillomania since the fourth grade, and since then I’ve never been comfortable showing my body. I have dark scars up and down my legs, my butt, my back, my chest, my arms… everywhere. But then I found this blog. I spent about an hour going through it, just crying. Because all of you are so brave, so strong. I’m seeing that I’m not alone. The girls with perfect bodies and skin I see every day at school? They very well may be wearing layers of makeup to cover their own scars, while all this time I’ve assumed that I’m the only one covered in marks.
Tomorrow I’m going to the pool. I’m not going to wear any makeup, I’m not going to cover my scars. I’m going to try and be brave like all of you amazing people. I am going to love my body, dammit… because confidence is beauty.
I have severe dermatillomania and I spend about an hour every day in front of the mirror, picking at my arms, thighs, shoulders, and mostly chest and breasts. I do it unconsciously too throughout the day when I’m writing or drawing or whatever. I have mild acne, but I also have extremely pale and red skin that makes what acne I have and my keratosis pilaris twice as evident. I am size 8-12 and I am self-conscious about my weight, but I get compliments on my large breasts. I had a sexually abusive ex who loved my breasts and seemingly nothing else about my body. Now that my picking has gotten so bad, I think I use it intentionally to damage my breasts, knowing they are one of the only positive reactions in fat-shaming culture to “curvy” or “bigger” women. I see that my skin on my breasts is flawed, so I pick at them trying to “perfect” them, knowing somewhat unconsciously that they will only look worse in the end. I know that most of my issues with my body that can’t be fixed without a long-term lifestyle change, so I see the ability to pop a pimple as a way to get a tiny imperfection out of my body right this second. I am relieved when the pore is empty and see it as a tiny defeat against the never-ending war with my body.
I have talked to a school counselor and to my parents and some friends about this, but no one seems to understand how big of a deal it is. I deal with all of my anxiety and self-esteem by picking. If I see or feel a pimple or a bump I cannot do ANYTHING until I can get away to go pick at it in front of a mirror. It is my “thing.” I almost don’t want it to go away, because then what will I do every night? How will I deal with my anxiety? How will I cope? How will I be able to look at my pimples and blackheads without trying to make them go away?
I wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THIS BLOG AND TO ALL OF THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE ON IT. This disease is misunderstood, underestimated, and so lonesome. You all have made me feel like part of a community about something I have struggled with by myself my whole life. Good luck to you all and thank you so much for your time if you have read my story.
P.S. I’m not submitting anonymously… So anyone who knows me in real life, hi now you know a lot about me whoops
little skin poem. hoping someone can relate. mmyeah :*
hiding red, white, brown, blue
pustules, veins, blushing, color
webs, this living map, i
hate, i hate, hate me, i
sweat this me, slick with
anxiety, i hope you won’t notice
don’t notice me, not that one,
the pieces i hide here blooming
one mark . named beauty
this one . disease
hide it, here, creams for this, leave house,
drugstore, broke, magazine-seen creams
stealing creams, these creams the color
of an average of skin, cover that bloom
sweat, leave house
sweat, look in mirror
look in every reflective surface
look for you
preen and break and bend
cover and hurt, this shame, i
am all shame sometimes
can anyone love this?
disgusting / rough / smooth / pus
red, veins broken, too many colors
i keep being told to be one color, i
wonder who could want to touch my skin, i
touch my skin all the time, this
will never be static
world breaking and bending me, me
choosing to change myself
i am too many colors, all these colors me
blooming, breaking, dry and wet
me whole and hurting, skin a map
me cartography of human, you
someone that could hold me, we
always given the option to hold
in what we are
human, here, finally
<want to stay ANONYMOUS>
Summer season is time when I have to uncover my parts that I’ve tried to hide for the past months. And even though it is terribly embarrassing, humiliating and awkward, I’d rather expose myself than shy away from all beach/pool and other bikini-involving activities.
My first problem is acne on my back. It’s terrible, believe me, my whole back is covered with dark red circles from old acnes and, of course, fresh pimples. It’s embarrassing to say but my acne problem goes down to my butt, which I’m really ashamed of.
Another problem is my legs skin. You see, I was born into a terribly hairy girl and I started complexing at the young age. That was when I started shaving and I did it wrong - now I suffer from ingrown hair, that leaves big marks or pimples right on my legs.
Despite my skin awkwardness, I decided to live my summer to the maximum by wearing shorts, bikinis and other clothes that don’t cover up my skin.
It’s not that easy, specially when you hear people commenting or laughing rudely, but what can I do? If mainstream industries have shaped a perfect woman with baby-butt skin, it doesn’t mean that we, real women, can’t enjoy life just because we don’t fit to that fake model .
Hey, Our Skin owner!
About a month ago you published a picture of my dermatillomania-ravaged chest. Just wanted to let you know that I am on the up & up…It has now been over 3 months since my last rampage. Who knows if the scars will ever totally go away…But I am trying to accept myself as-is.
I’ve really taken comfort reading all the entries here. I see that everyone secretly has -something- going on, in a society that values hiding your flaws away. If there’s one upside to this whole 10 or 15-year thing, I think it’s that I’ve become non-judgmental. I won’t stand for anyone being made fun of, because I know that “weirdness” lurks in me, beneath a few layers of clothes.
I’m rooting for everyone here. I hope this blog keeps opening minds. We need it,
i have moderate stress-induced psoriasis on my elbows and around my ears. i keep my hair down and usually wear long sleeves, but it gets tough in the summer. people either point it out automatically, and ask why i can’t make it go away, or claim to never notice (which i find highly farfetched.) it’s not contagious, or gross. it’s just an excess of skin, that turns a lot of people off it seems. i’ve struggled with it my whole life, and have always been so embarrassed by it. i hold my elbows in public, which i assume makes me look pissed with my arms folded over my chest, and i don’t let people touch my ears. i don’t think of it as anything gross, but the more people comment on it and ask me about it, the more conscious i get about it. seeing people with similar problems on this page has helped me profoundly, because i’d never met anyone with skin problems that they can’t help but have before, so it’s a sigh of relief to realize that i’m not alone…thank you.